anxty&scdlthghts

im a failure

i annoyed the one i love

till he hates me

when trying not to

im a stupid human being

i should be ashamed of myself

why am i

not dead yet?

im an useless nuisance for everyone anyway

/anxs&scdl/

If Only

If only--
Our differences never mattered;
We weren't running out of time;
The past wasn't that harsh;
We're doing well in life;

Then we might be able to grasp a glimpse of the holy bond.

...or just if we never met-- then we don't have to bear this pain of lust.


g

A New Path

Heyy. It's been long since I last updated my blog. Yeah, I was busy actually I kinda forgot about this blog I'm sorry moving from my hometown to another town to study. Wow, time does fly faster than I thought. Well now I'm studying in a decent university in this new, bigger town. And guess what, I'm currently studying Computer Science! My dream (sort of-) came true! Now the problem is its hard to keep up with the lectures because I don't have a strong science and programming background :( I really hope that I can continue on this path, though...

Enough with the random blabbers, now I'm going to tell you about my unique experiences here!

First, I'm kinda having a trouble with adjusting my accent with local accent :"D. When my new friends hear me talk, they automatically know that I'm a foreigner. Most of them could even guess where my hometown is. They also make fun of my accent :"D WHYY
The second thing is, there are more male students than the female ones in my department. And FINALLY SOMEONE LIKES ME. A BOY. A LEGIT HUMAN. YES. Also probably not a boy but some boys HAHA I'M THE QUEEN HERE YASS
Last but not least, I thought that living alone is hard. It turns out that adapting to this new experience isn't that hard; its WAY easier than I thought it would. Haha maybe this is the right thing to do~

Well its 11 pm so I'd better sleep. Someone has already warned me to go to sleep .w. thanks person!
I'll try to keep this blog as updated as I can. Thanks for reading :D

That Person's Desperation

From now on, I think I'll post some short fiction stories I wrote in English so I can practice my English.

Here's one:

I've always been that person you wanted to be, not perfect, but fits perfectly in the society. Enjoys life. Not too smart, but not stupid too. Very polite towards others (especially towards elders) but fun to play with. Simple, humble and ordinary. But those days changed my life, those days when I reached that point when people had higher hopes for you, when everything changed drastically. My grades went surprisingly low, people started to hate me, and such. So, I think that's time to change. There's no way for me to fit in while being "myself", so I put up a "mask". I became an altruist. I've been wearing that mask for years, even though I'm suffocating inside. People using me-- that happens often. I'm kinda used to it. I got real tired wearing that "mask", and tried to take it off. That moment, I realized that I've turned worse than I was before. Now, without that mask, I'm just a nuisance. People hate me more than before. I don't want to wear that mask again. I'm real tired.
-end-

Sorry, but I love writing sad stories :D hehe

Game Review : Tokimeki Memorial

Ahh~ Lama nggak nulis di blog... Sibuk sih, hehe...


Oke kali ini aku bakal nge-review sebuah game dating sim yang judulnya : Tokimeki Memorial Girl's Side 1st Love Plus♥


Jadii, di game ini kita bakalan jadi seorang cewe yang baru aja masuk SMA nih... Berusaha ndeketin cowo-cowo ganteng yang ada di sekolah baru kita, sambil mencari temen juga nich... Hehe~ Ada 4 orang cewe yang bisa diajdiin temen ato rival kita, ada juga beberapa character tesembunyi (ngga aku tulis ah, spoiler nanti...). Nah, kita harus mengatur jadwal kita supaya bisa sesuai sama si cowok impian kita tuh, misalnya cowo impian kita suka cewe yang pinter, maka kita harus sering-sering belajar gitu...


Hehe, Selamat bermain~


Walktrough (Bahasa Indonesia) : http://insonnia91.livejournal.com/1076.html
Download link : http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?u69waaowptx1q2g

Spoiler:

Beberapa Screenshot:

Nilai UN

Nilai unasku... Lumayan bagus tapi cukup mengecewakan. 
No UN : 21205012372516 
Nilai UN B. Indonesia : 9.40 
Nilai UN Matematika : 9.25 
Nilai UN IPA : 9.75 
Nilai UN B. Inggris : 9.00 
Nilai Total : 37.4


Yah, lumayan sih, tapi begitu mamaku tahu soal ini, dia langsung berubah jadi agak "berserk" gitu...




But, I'm proud. Why? Because this is100% my own result, without cheating. (but with God's help of course)

Kenichi Matsuyama

Name: 松山ケンイチ
Name (romaji): Matsuyama Kenichi
Profession: Actor
Birthdate: 1985-Mar-05
Birthplace: Aomori, Japan
Height: 180cm
Weight: 60kg
Star sign: Pisces
Blood type: B
Family: Wife/actress Koyuki

Hihii cute yah, sayang dah kawin :( (halah!)